China 38: Two weeks left
Self-diagnosis: Hypochondriac. Lately I've been diagnosed myself with a tape worm, baldness, and lazyness. Don't know exactly why.
So it's been a while since I last wrote. Life in Xi'an has been going by really fast. There's only two weeks left! Yesterday was our last day at Gao Xin High, and it was actual more sentimental than I thought it'd be. All the students were really sad to see us go, something that definately didn't happen at BHS. They kept showing up at our afternoon class to exchange emails, take pictures, and give us gifts. Each of our classes held a little goodbye ceremony, and Ian's class invited us all to a little party where they made speeches and gave us going away gifts. It's sad that we might never see these people ever again. They were so nice and welcoming the entire time.
Today, we head to Shanghai, the Chinese New York, and some other surrounding cities for a week. I still have to pack. I'm thinking about pack one set of clothes and buying the rest their to force myself to by the cheap stuff here in China instead of the expensive stuff when I get back to the States. I can't believe that I have to think about gifts, prom, and leaving again. It seems like yesterday that I wrote a blog about my emotions before leaving for China, and now I'm writing the exact same thing about leaving for the US. I'm not sure if I want to leave or stay. I'm not really sure about anything, which for me, makes everything a bit suffocatingly numb. Living in the moment becomes harder and harder when all you want to do is think about the past or future. Going to Shanghai really marks the end of my stay here in Xi'an. Though we'll be coming back it'll only be for four days.
I'm trying to realize what it is that I've found here in Xi'an or in China, and I'm still not sure. I recieved a letter from my grandma a few days ago. In it she said it "seemed I was searching for answers. [but I] have the answers right in front of me in Christ." Was China a search for answers? This past vacation, my host mom took me to that Buddhist temple we always go, and the head monk made me an official Buddhist. I'm now officially a member of his temples. I even have a certificate thing. I don't think my host mom knows I'm baptised a Catholic. I don't think she'd be very happy knowing it just as my grandmother probably wouldn't like to know I've been dabbling in other religions. I have to admit that the philosophy of religion has A LOT to offer, something that at least in Brookline, gets forgotten in the drama over all the scandals and stuff. So now that I'm officially a follower of both the bloodied, skinny son of god and the fat, smiling enlightened one maybe the answers will come doubly fast. We'll see.
For now though, I'll keep listening to Dave Matthews Band and Counting Crows for immediate life answers.
cya lata
posted by dAVID @ 10:19 PM
4 Comments:
hooray! A real entry. and soon you'll actually be able to read these comments. The comings and goings will keep happening, believe me. But that's the nice thing about the Buddha stuff, it emphasizes the flow of life and how that's normal. Love all of it. Or hate it. Whatever.
go with the flow, d wang
(purely for the sake that you'll have something to read when you come back)
daoism emphasizes the idea of following the middle ground, the flow of things. not "middle ground" like compromise, but not fighting against the course which life takes you. perhaps i'm wrong, but i am both sore and relaxed
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha
Buddha also said:
"If the string is too tight, it will break; if the string is too loose, no sound will come out"
the middle way
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