Afterword: Christmas 2005
So it's been nearly a year since I left for Xi'an, and I was looking over this blog and realized it's not done. But then again, what is ever really done? I just emailed my host family after a two month hiatus with no contact. For awhile my host mom and I emailed each with the usual pleasantries like weather and mood, but that gets repetitive. My departure from Xi'an was very hard for her. She saw me as a son. But as the months went on and our correspondance dwindled she's moved on. (wow i feel like i'm talking about an exgirlfriend right now) I just got a e-card from my host family and sent them a long reply in chinese.
I spent little time consiouscly reflecting on my experience in China after I got back and for most of the summer. I got two jobs to occupy my time. One as a soccer counselor and the other as a intern at Beth Isreal Hospital. I also had a girlfriend over the summer. And most of my time was spent between my jobs, friends, and girlfriend. As my freshman year of college approached my mind was consumed with anticipation. And once I got to college my energy was sapped with all the good and bad stresses of college life.
But now I'm done with my first semester of college. I'm 1/8 done with college which sounds crazy because I'm not sure I've gotten what I've paid for. But I digress. I was placed in a first level Chinese class which was a mistake. The class has been a breeze. Listening comp and oral are a joke and I wish that I pushed myself more to work on that. I've learned about 300 more characters as well which is a good thing. I found that while doing my Chinese HW and sitting in class I'd have flashbacks of random moments in China, the kind of things that you'd never imagine you would ever remember again. I thought about riding in a taxi on my own, or the food I ate every night for dinner, or some crazy joke with someone in the group. And I'd really feel these memories with a kind of realism that was more than remembering any other time of my life. I've been very nostalgiac for Xi'an and the group I went with.
Also, college so far has helped me realize that I definately have grown from my life in Xi'an. The girl who lives next to me in my dorm also went to China last year and lived with a family which is totally rocking. I think she is one of the few people that can really understand what I went through and share in the nostalgia I feel. I thank the people that put us so close for their wisdom. We've gotten into discussions/arguments over the Cultural Revolution, Mao, and what is the best food in China. Furthermore, I've met other people intereseted in China. In fact, I'm planning on going back with them to either Shanghai or Beijing this summer. For me the reason for this is mainly to improve my Chinese (b/c that really is the only way to become fluent) and to explore the culture.
So as of now I know what I've learned from my stay in Xi'an. I've learned that I know nothing about China and that I want to learn about China. And for that's a lot. A direction in life is hard to find for many people who come from my kind of background. So next semester I'm gonna take two Chinese classes (level 1 which is was in and level 2 which I'll audit). I'm taking Asian Traditions which is taught by a very popular teacher who is reknowned for his difficulty and intrigue. And I'm taking Intro to Internatinal Relations. As of now IR is probably going to be my major. But I could see myself doing Asian-American Studies or even possibly Chinese. I'm not really sure what I'm looking for by looking at China or if I'm simply running off to another country to start a new me. I guess my reasons are probably mostly selfish, and I probably should develop certain skills and knowledge in the US before I go running off to an entirely different culture. But maybe it'll help that I haven't yet hardened into the typical American thinker.
Who knows? I'm just glad I went to Xi'an. And I'm not done yet.
posted by dAVID @ 1:57 AM
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